Armin Meiwes - He looks more like a pedophile to me

Cannibalism has been viewed, in Modern civilized society, through a surreal lens. From the Donner Party, to The Buoy’s upbeat cannibal anthem “Timothy”, to Ray Liotta being fed a piece of his own cerebrum by Anthony Hopkins in the movie Hannibal, people feel that the very act of consuming human flesh is outlandish, regardless of how it’s done. One man, however, was determined to make the execution of his cannibalistic attempt as outrageous and unsettling as the act itself. His name: Armin Meiwes.

Born in Essen, Nordrhein-Westfalen, Germany on Dec. 1, 1962, Armin Meiwes (pron. My’-vuhs) was a quiet, unassuming kind, by most accounts. He was raised by a mother described as cold and domineering. So domineering was his dear mutti, that he rarely was allowed to play with his school chums or otherwise engage in most forms of social intercourse (including intercourse, it turns out–Frau Meiwes accompanied her son on dates. No aktion for little Armin.) In fact, scarcely a day went by that Meiwes didn’t see his mom. She lived with him for her whole life and even forced her way into maneuvers with his army unit during his compulsory military service. He wasn’t rid of the bitch until the day she died. And, yet, she lived on…in his mind!

So how did Meiwes deal with the stifling tough-love? The same way any level-headed schizoid would: by creating an imaginary brother, “Frank”, who would “listen” to him and developing a need to find someone to become “a part of him”.

Fast-forward a few decades to the dawn of the new millennium. While the rest of the world was fretting about their electricity cutting off or their garage doors not opening, Meiwes was beginning to succumb to the notion of making someone a part of him, a dream he’d maintained since childhood. Now, you gotta admire someone who puts it all on the line and goes after that dream, but Armin had something different in mind from finding his soulmate and getting married. The 39-year old computer technician placed an ad on a fetish website called “The Cannibal Café“, asking for a “volunteer” to allow Meiwes to kill, cook and consume him. Improbably, someone actually responded. For male prostitute/mutilation aficionado Bernd Brandes, becoming someone’s entrée sounded like a good idea.

Brandes dutifully reported to Meiwes’ home in Rotenburg (near Frankfurt in the state of Hesse) on March 9, 2001. In short order, Meiwes had cut off Brandes’ penis and attempted to prepare it in time for the two to consume it. As he waited for Brandes to die from either the massive blood loss or the livestock-sized dose of barbiturates and alcohol he’d been given, Meiwes read a Star Wars novel. After 3 hours, an apparently impatient Meiwes decided to finish off the incredibly resilient Brandes with a knife in the throat. Afterward, Armin placed the corpse on a suspended meathook and gleefully began to fillet it. How do we know all these details? Why, it’s because Meiwes had been videotaping the incident. Duh!

After divulging details about his “meal” online, authorities were notified and Meiwes was arrested. On Jan. 30, 2004, Armin Meiwes was convicted of the German equivalent of manslaughter and was sentenced to 8 1/2 years in prison. Two years later, prosecutors were able to overturn his original conviction to that of murder, based on the premeditation involved in trolling for human food on a fetish site. Meiwes will serve a term of life in prison for his crime.

Fun Facts about Armin:

*At Brandes’ insistence, Meiwes attempted to bite the penis off. The proboscis proved to be too “tough” and, after several painful tries, a steak knife was ultimately used.

*German industrial metal band Rammstein wrote the song “Mein Teil” (English: “My Part”) with inspiration from the Meiwes case. The bridge includes the line “Du Bist, Was du isst” (literally, “you are what you eat”).

*Meiwes intended to sauté the penis with proper seasoning, allowing the 2 men to share it before Brandes died. Unfortunately, Meiwes burned it beyond the point of enjoyment. Way to go, Dumbass!

*The 2007 horror film Butterfly: a Grimm Love Story was loosely based on the Meiwes case. It was banned in Germany.

*As a commentary on the worldwide press response to the Meiwes case, Juggalo rapper Necro in the song “Human Consumption” wrote the line “It’s legal in Germany, believe me. Cannibals are Celebrities”.

*Over 10 months, Meiwes feasted upon nearly 50 pounds of his Victim’s flesh.

*Shortly after being locked up, Meiwes became a vegetarian!